That's The Way We Met Page 16

  ‘Don’t panic. Just relax. She might have messaged you, but due to some network problem, the message may not have reached. Let me call her,’ said Sonam and kept the phone down. Mohit was with her.

  I was all alone sitting on the steps thinking of her last message to me. It had been a while since our last day together, but to me, it seemed like years had passed. I never thought that the end would come so soon. I wanted you to stay with me forever, but you have left me in a lurch. You missed the words I Love You! I tried to say it loud, screaming, so you could hear it. Everybody heard me except you. My dreams now lay shattered. The sweet jingle of your bangles will forever remain a dream!

  After what seemed like an eternity, Sonam called me.

  ‘Aadi, she is not responding to my calls. I called her several times. Both Mohit and I have been calling her non-stop since the time you told us what had happened. If she calls back, I will immediately let you know. We are coming this week. So please don’t worry,’ she said and kept the phone.

  Sameer had reached by that time. He asked me straight off, ‘Did you try calling on her Mom’s cell? Did you try calling anywhere else?’

  ‘I tried calling each and everyone through whom I could come to know anything about Riya. No one seemed to know anything. I tried her Mom’s cell too. It was fucking switched off. I think I have lost her forever,’ I cried.

  ‘Be positive, yaar. Keep your hopes up. You know she loves you more than anything in the world, don’t you?’ Sameer tried explaining to me.

  ‘How can I keep calm when I know that I have lost my love and may never get to see her again?’ I howled in front of Sameer.

  Our relationship was meant to be everlasting. It was meant to be one of those successful love stories which would have a happy ending. We could have told our children about our love story. Now, after two years, time seemed to have come to a standstill. The sand clock had dropped on the floor and broken. It happened just when I was overturning it so that it never stops. I was thinking of you and forgot to be careful. I tried to clue the pieces together again, but it didn’t work. Everything is broken. I’m broken. The kisses are gone. The smile is now only a memory. You have left me forever; your love is gone. You left me alone, without asking me, without thinking about what I wanted. If I could only see you once more, if I could feel those lips one more time… But I know it won’t happen.

  Sameer left after making me promise that I won’t act rashly and think with a calm mind about what my next course of should be action. The next day when my Mom was reading the newspaper, I sat beside her and kept my head on her lap. She stopped reading and looked at me. She knew something was wrong. I began to weep. I told her everything that had happened. She kept the newspaper aside and stroked my hair gently.

  ‘Aditya, you love her very much, right?’

  My answer was an obvious yes. It had to be! Not a single doubt about it.

  ‘If you don’t mind, can I tell you one thing? Don’t overreact, alright? Just listen to me carefully and then think over it,’ said Mom.

  I agreed and let her speak.

  ‘I don’t know much about Riya. My impression of her is drawn from all that you have told me about her in the past few months. I think I had the wrong image of her in my mind,’ said Mom.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ I interrupted.

  ‘Please listen to me first,’ she continued, ‘I had a wrong impression of her in my mind. I never thought that she would be so responsible towards her family. I know you might not understand what I am about to say next. The fact is that she took the right decision for her family. She lost her father at an early age as a result of which she had to take on additional responsibilities. Just think once of what you would expect from your sister if she were in Riya’s place? Think over it and then react.’

  I didn’t say anything but left. I went to my room. I saw her gift which was kept on my table. A cute soft toy which she had gifted me. I went near the table and kissed that soft toy. I didn’t notice the last glimpse of your smile before going away. I can’t even feel the last kiss. If I could bring back time…

  Now there is a big wall between us. And with every passing hour, it seems like another brick is being cemented on that wall. Try hard as I may, I can’t get through it. Someone else took my place in her paradise and closed the doors of her heart. Now, I’m again the stranger she once knew.

  With each passing day, I wished for her return. Whenever my phone rang, I wished it was her. Whenever someone touched me from behind, I turned with the hope of that person being her. But it never happened. I don’t know how she could forget everything so easily. Can two years of memories be deleted so easily? Not for me at least.

  Out of sheer desperation, I tried calling her cell phone one last time and this time the IVR replied, ‘Please check the number you have dialled.’

  She changed her number! I almost gave up on my search for her.

  You should have at least met me once. You should have told me where you were going. You should have at least consulted me once. Jaan, I would have never stopped you. I loved you. I love you even today, I told myself.

  I couldn’t take it any more and finally opened a beer bottle and drank to my misery. Mohit, seeing that I was heavily drunk, called Sameer and Sonam too. He took me to his house and told me to rest.

  ‘You had promised Riya something, have you forgotten those promises?’ Mohit said.

  ‘Which promises are you talking about? Those promises which never meant anything to her? Those promises which she broke within a fraction of a second? Which promises, Mohit?’ I shouted as loud as I could. It was the alcohol talking for me.

  ‘Stop it. You very well understand her situation. Keep your hopes alive. By God’s grace if some miracle happens, she will return,’ said Sameer.

  Everything after that passed in a blur. I crashed on the hard floor of Mohit’s bedroom, feeling the darkness around engulf me.

  An Undelivered Message

  It was a lazy Sunday morning. A morning without love. A morning without Riya. I checked my cell phone, I checked my messages, I checked my Facebook account, and I even checked my mail for any signs of Riya. There were none!

  I still dwell upon the sweet kisses, the smile that gave me life and keep hoping that I will find you somewhere, before that feeling melts away forever. You have been my strongest emotion, my deepest thought, my sweetest dream, my meaning, my love, my paradise. I wish I could hold you right now in my arms just for one last moment, as I did before.

  I wanted to spend time with my memories and give life to my hopes. I decided to switch off my mobile and just roam around the city. The sun was shining brightly. Every morning as the sun rises in the sky, it sets in my heart. I wanted to come out of the darkness and move into the shine of hope. As I drove my bike around the city, I relived the moments and the memories of those lanes. Those days would never come back, but at least the memories of those days brought a smile on my face. Riya was nowhere around yet all around me.

  She never tried to contact me again, even though I am still waiting for her one last call. I drove my bike from Navi Mumbai. As I crossed the lane near her apartment where I used to drop her from office, I stopped my bike and stared at that corner aimlessly. I could see nothing but smoke and dust around that corner.

  I still keep looking at the places where you would wait for the office cab. You no longer wait there, but I am still on the other side of the same road. I never stopped loving you; I don’t think I will ever.

  I reached Grant Lane. I parked my bike and sat on the same bench where we started our journey towards life. It reminded me of her yellow top and black jeans, which were one of my favourites. I could feel her sitting beside me, pulling my cheeks. I could feel her playing with my hair. I switched on my mobile and I went to her last message, which said,

  Whenever you feel alone, just close your eyes and I would run through your mind. I may not be happy away from you, but I would live my life through your eyes.


  I closed my eyes and saw her in your wedding sari. I saw her making tinkling sound of bangles with both her wrists in front of my face. I abruptly opened my eyes just to see a vast lawn in front of me. She was nowhere around.

  Tears rolled down my face and fell onto the screen of my mobile, which still had her message opened. I wiped the teardrops from my screen and could see the message, which displayed,

  I wanted to tell you so many things, which I never said. I wanted to tell you that I may not be with you but the truth is I may never forget you my entire life. You have made a deep impact on my life.

  What was it that changed her mind? She never thought of consulting me even once. She never thought of asking me how I would feel if she suddenly took off… All that time I thought I knew her, when really, I was blind. Still, I love you and I can never hate you. Even though you hurt me, I can’t let you go.

  Kasam ki Kasam hai Kasam se, humko pyaar hai sirf tumse, ab ye pyaar na hoga phir humse…

  My phone kept ringing. I wanted to avoid it, but since it was Sameer, I couldn’t ignore it. I took the call.

  ‘Where the hell have you been since morning? Mohit and I have been trying your cell phone all day long. I hope you are alive,’ yelled Sameer.

  ‘That’s the problem. I am still alive even though I truly wish I were dead. Anyway, please leave me alone for a while, guys,’ I kept the phone without informing him where I was.

  I moved from that place. I cruised my way to old Mumbai through Chembur. I reached Bandra. I got down from the bike and bought a packet of cigarettes. As I sat down on Bandstand, I lit a cigarette.

  I tried to send a message on Riya’s cell phone.

  My love, my sweet Riya, I look back at the years that we shared together, how amazing my time with you was. Sometimes it breaks my heart to go that far back down the road and be reminded of how much I loved you; how much we loved each other. I remember the feelings you gave me whenever I was around you. I have never felt a love so magnificent than what I had in my heart for you. Where have you gone without telling me? Everywhere I look, I see your name, and I find myself getting angry because it only reminds me of the painful truth that I cannot be with you. How could two people who felt they could never live without each other, move apart so easily? How can a love that was meant to last, crumble right before our very eyes? What happened to our love… What happened to us? I only wish things in life were simpler so that I could be with you. I will love you forever.

  Message delivery failed!

  Helpless, depressed, and broken, I just left from that place. It was the same place where we shared one of the earliest kisses.

  I reached home and closed the door of my room. After some time, there was a knock at my door. I opened it to find Sameer looking at me with all the anger available in the world. I was in no mood to talk with him. Neither had I attended Mohit’s calls.

  ‘What is your problem in life? You can’t live for others? Do your family and friends mean anything to you?’ Sameer shouted at me.

  ‘Sameer, what do you expect from me? Life without Riya is pointless,’ I said with dejection.

  ‘If you love her so much, why don’t you remember what she said? Just because she is not with you doesn’t means she doesn’t love you. She told you that she wants to live her life through your eyes. You are hurting her each day without realizing it,’ said Sameer.

  ‘What do you expect from me?’ I replied.

  ‘I don’t expect anything. But just stop hurting others as much as you are hurting yourself. Wherever Riya is, I know she must be thinking of you at this moment and if she senses that you are ruining your life by not doing anything productive, she would be very upset,’ Sameer patted my back and left saying that he would come by in the night after having dinner.

  I gave a thought to Sameer’s views and recapped the message and Mom’s suggestion. It was hard to digest the fact that Riya couldn’t be with me anymore. I missed those midnight conversations and I missed how Riya would make me laugh when I would be frustrated after a hard day’s work. I want to be with you but whether you are millions of miles away or just beside me, I still don’t know. I wish you would call just to ask about my day. It would make things so much better if I could hear your voice.

  I guess I can’t complain too much. It wasn’t your choice. You were always there for me through both the good times and the bad. You were always there to laugh with me, or to help me when I was sad. It’s not that I pity you, but I’ll admit your life’s been tough. I just wish that physically, I could be there when things got tough for you. Maybe even today you love me.

  I realized that love should not be bounded with promises. Love should be set free with no restrictions. There are no promises in love, there is only magic in love. It’s the long wait… The magic to wait for your love.

  Love is like life, where you don’t find smooth roads, where you don’t achieve goals so easily. You have to struggle for it, but when you don’t stop living you life, why should one stop loving someone?

  Sameer came again at night as he had promised, bringing along a bottle of vodka with him.

  ‘Did you give it a serious thought?’ Sameer asked as he handed me a shot of vodka.

  ‘Ya, I did. I know Riya was not wrong. She loved me and wanted to marry me. It was she who convinced me to get married secretly. But then situations changed and suddenly she was forced to change her decisions. There must have been some kind of external pressure on her that made her leave her home and shift somewhere else. Otherwise she would have definitely told me,’ I said gulping the drink down in one shot.

  God alone knew how much I loved her, how much she meant to me. If I am in such deep pain, what must be her condition?

  You loved me more than I could imagine. Remember those sweet ice creams? I now understand why they tasted so good. It was just eating it with you that made them taste sweet. Now that you are gone, their sweetness has gone too.

  Sameer got up and went to my table to bring the bottle of vodka.

  ‘What kind of a diary is this?’ he asked me.

  ‘Nothing, just forget about it. Leave it be,’ I said.

  He didn’t listen to me and opened the diary. I was in no mood to get up and steal it from him. I let him read it. After some time I went to sleep drugged by the alcohol. The next morning when I got up, Sameer was there to greet me at the breakfast table.

  ‘I read your diary. You write well. All your memories associated with Riya—from the day you first met her to the day she mysteriously disappeared,’ he said.

  I kept quiet and just sipped the tea. I was still hungover. He continued speaking.

  ‘You should try to get this diary published by changing the name of the protagonist. I am telling you this because if your book is published and Riya reads it, then she might come back to you. But again, that is just my opinion,’ he said.

  ‘Crazy, fucking crazy you are. I think you have a hangover. Kindly go home and sleep. You need rest. You are just uttering crap right now. I ignored the useless topic. I told him to leave and shut the door. When I shut the door, I thought to myself, Was it good enough to be published? Errr… I stand nowhere. Forget it! I again thought about it and opened my diary. I read a few pages of it.

  Fuck, no! Forget it!

  Today…

  Today we are not together, today we are living our own lives; but does that mean that we have stopped loving each other? Absolutely not. You’re a very special soul in my life and you will always continue to be. I love you with all my being and I accept that we are now travelling down different paths in our lives, but my love for you will always remain constant and our past will be relived in my dreams. Though our roads are different, our paths may cross and maybe someday in the future, our roads will meet and we will travel down the same path once again, until then my sweet love … In my heart is where you always reside.

  Love is pain. Love is pure. Love is sacrifice!

  Epilogue

  Log har manzil k
o mushkil samajhte hai,

  Maine har mushkil ko manzil samjha hai,

  Log dil ko dard samajhte hai,

  Maine dard ko dil samjha hai…

  When you love someone, you love that person as a whole—you love them for both their strengths and their weaknesses… I did nothing different. Somewhere Riya still belongs to me, and even if today we are not together, she still happens to be my love.

  If you believe in love, you should never curse your love for not being with you today. Rise in love, and make them proud of you for loving them.

  What happened next?

  After a few months, I completed writing my manuscript. I called everyone to inform them that I had finally completed my story. I never thought I would do that. I still couldn’t believe it. Mohit, Sonam, and Sameer were equally shocked when they read it. We searched for some publishers in Mumbai but absolutely no one entertained me. Forget about reading the script, they never even gave me a second glance. I was rejected by most of the big publishing houses in Mumbai just because I didn’t have a godfather.

  I wanted my Riya back; I wanted to prove myself to her. I sent my script to one of the finest publishing houses in India. To my surprise, they sent me a mail within a month saying that my script was under consideration.

  Mohit and Sameer were on cloud nine when I told them we have moved one step closer towards Riya. One step closer in search of Riya. Finally, after some days when I opened my mail, I had a mail from the very same publisher in my inbox.

  Fuck… This is unbelievable! I shouted like a little kid who had been given his dream toy in his hands.

  I called Mohit up and told him that there was a big surprise waiting for him in his mailbox, I called Sameer and Sonam too.

  They saw their mails and everyone jumped with excitement. I was in my room when I called my parents in the room. I showed them the cover page on my PC.

  ‘You are drunk? You didn’t get anyone else to fool around. Do your work,’ my Mom replied.

  ‘Mom, I am serious. This is the cover page of my novel, Few Things Left Unsaid. Trust me!’ I convinced her.