You’re Trending in my Dreams Page 8

  When Varun offered to accompany her to the door, she refused saying that she could manage just fine.

  As she reached the washroom and opened the door, someone patted her on the back. The door was half open and the washroom was vacant.

  ‘Hey, what are you doing here?’ she asked with a slight smile in her drunken state.

  He didn’t utter a word, just looked around to make sure no one was watching them. Then he pushed her in and bolted the door. Due to the effects of alcohol, everything seemed blurry to her. She couldn’t understand what was happening.

  The guy didn’t want to rape her. But he wanted to teach her how the game was played. He didn’t want to molest her but he wanted her to know what it was like to lose one’s dignity. He wanted to make her realize the pain of losing yourself in the process of losing someone.

  If you don’t put your ugly past behind you, the memories rot, turning into obsession and revenge, and he was doing just that. Garima was the reason he was humiliated, his pride destroyed. He knew that what he did wasn’t right but the issue could have been dealt with better, nobody had to get hurt. He wasn’t hurt because of a broken relationship; he was hurt because the girl had walked out on him. His ego was bruised, and that bruised ego got the better of him and the world around him.

  It’s always the same story—if a guy initiates the break-up, he is termed a cool dude but if the girl does so, she is termed a bitch, whore and whatnot. It doesn’t matter who is at fault or what the reason is behind the separation. Even if the guy is at fault and the girl breaks up with him, the guy will spare no chance to demean her and talk ill about her.

  Sid was no different. He sought Ahana’s attention and when he couldn’t get past her emotional strength and saw her happy with her friends, he was more bitter than ever. His ego crushed, he remembered how Ahana had exclaimed, ‘If you treat me like a game, I’ll show you how it’s played.’ His friends poked fun at him and he felt humiliated, hence the revenge. He clicked a few offensive pictures of Garima, saying, ‘Now I will teach you how to play this game. I could have raped you and hurt you physically but I want to torture you mentally and ruin your life every day.’ Sid laughed.

  Though he had no intention of harming her physically, he knew what he had done would crush her mentally and emotionally. This was his way of taking revenge on Ahana. He peeked outside and saw that everyone was busy mingling. He came out of the washroom cautiously and left the pub.

  An abused person can never fully recover from a traumatic experience. Garima slowly managed to walk back to their table.

  ‘What took you so long?’ Varun asked.

  ‘Sid . . .’

  The name shocked everyone. Ahana was dumbstruck.

  ‘Did he say something to you? Did he touch you?’ Varun asked in a furious tone.

  ‘No. But . . . he was . . . talking . . . about some game . . . about mentally torturing us . . .’ Garima stammered. Ahana and Varun didn’t have a good feeling about it. They cleared the bill and left at once. Malvika asked Garima several questions on their way back home but couldn’t get a proper response. Varun’s intuition said that something had gone horribly wrong. Ahana too was scared. They didn’t have a clue as to what Sid was up to. None of them were able to get much sleep that night.

  The hardest thing to accept is the realization that the one you love has stopped loving you. Sid couldn’t accept it and had decided to take revenge in the most horrible way.

  ‘Malvika, wake up. Fast. For God’s sake,’ Varun shouted.

  ‘Why are shouting early in the morning? What’s wrong?’ Malvika questioned.

  Ahana, still yawning, looked at Varun anxiously. She had crashed in their room last night. Varun handed over the phone to Malvika to show her the horror he had woken up to. Malvika couldn’t believe her eyes. She passed the phone to Ahana with trembling hands and Ahana went numb looking at it. Varun had received a video on WhatsApp in which Sid was kissing Garima. It was a short clip, barely five seconds long. Ahana and Malvika checked their phones and saw that they too had received the same clip from Sid. They were sure that Sid had sent the clip to Garima as well. Varun thought of deleting the video from her phone before Garima could see it.

  However, her door was locked from the inside. They had sensed something fishy at the lounge but had not expected something as nasty as this.

  Within minutes, everyone received a message from Sid: ‘I could have done something worse like circulating this on the Internet, but not yet. Wait for the right time. Get ready to play the game. Play for your life.’

  ‘How could he? I am not going to let that moron get away with this. Son of a bitch!’ Ahana shouted.

  ‘This is not the right time. Calm down,’ Varun stated.

  ‘We shouldn’t have made her drink. It’s entirely our fault. What are we supposed to do now? It’s over if it goes viral,’ Malvika cried.

  Everyone looked at each other. There was silence all around. Somewhere they were aware that this was the beginning of a nightmare for them. A nightmare from which they could not wake up. Life’s dark side had caught up with them.

  Varun considered entering Garima’s room and deleting the clip from her phone, but he was a bit hesitant.

  They were all overwhelmed by what was happening, unable to process their emotions. Receiving this video had suddenly applied the brakes on all the fun they’d been having, completely distorting their happy memories.

  As Varun moved about the living room anxiously, he glanced at his diary and opened it to see what he had written some time ago when he was missing his mom.

  She gave life. She will be someone’s wife.

  She is a girlfriend and someone’s best friend.

  She is a sister and a survivor to the end.

  She works, cooks and cleans.

  She laughs, helps, comforts, and hides her pain.

  When you struggle she pulls you through and helps you again.

  All of this is she and what do we do?

  Complain and create a mess.

  Provide stress and leave her feeling depressed.

  Push her away and ignore her advice.

  Tell her she is nothing without thinking twice.

  She was tortured and abused.

  You clicked offensive videos and photographs of her,

  Told her she was nothing and would always be used.

  Making her cry was a game to you.

  One should respect women, but how could you?

  She swallows her pride, puts her feelings aside.

  Ignores your ignorance and tolerates your flaws and takes your side.

  You call her bitch, slut, ho and tramp,

  She answers with pride and dignity like a champ.

  You call her nothing.

  But I call her strong, smart, sensual, caring, giving, a survivor, tolerant and powerful.

  I call her a Woman!

  One thing was proven that day, that women were made to feel weak by men who hurt their dignity and pride, hitting them where it hurts the most. Who is to blame? The man who makes her feel hopeless and weak by treating her like an object just because his ego is bruised? The girl who allows the man to make her feel hopeless by treating her like an object? Or a society that has always portrayed girls as weak, their honour an easy target?

  When Nothing Goes Right

  ‘I think we should delete the message from her cell phone. She will get depressed if she sees it. I know her well,’ Malvika said, fearing the worst.

  ‘But the room is—’

  Before Ahana could finish, Malvika interrupted saying she was extremely worried for Garima who had always kept her distance from strangers. She was convinced that it was not her fault and she had been trapped for no reason.

  ‘I am not going to let that bastard go! But how do I show Garima this? He won’t circulate the video; he doesn’t have guts to do that. I have lived with him and I know how his mind works,’ Ahana said, pacing up and down.

  A hush descended over th
em as the three gradually moved towards Garima’s room, which was still locked. Ahana got the master key from her room so that they could sneak in and delete the message before Garima woke up and saw it. It would be a huge task to make her forget about the incident as there was something that had always haunted her, something she hadn’t revealed to anyone. The painful memories of her past were still fresh in her mind and with this tragedy, it seemed like recovery would take even more time. Malvika knew her the best and felt she would go into depression as she was not mentally strong and this could result in a complete nervous breakdown. Everyone knew she was innocent and hence wanted to shield her from this, especially when she had exams coming up.

  Varun took the key from Ahana and inserted it into the keyhole. Once the door was unlocked, he pushed it open as quietly as possible. As the door opened, they couldn’t believe the scene in front of them.

  Garima lay unconscious in a pool of blood with her left wrist slashed. The blood gushed from her wrist and she lay there face down, her wrist stretched over the pillow. She would have lost a few quarts by now. Everyone panicked and screamed, trying to wake Garima up, not knowing whether she was just unconscious or dead. Varun told Malvika and Ahana to bring some cold water to splash on her face. He took a handkerchief and wrapped it around her wrist to try and stop the bleeding but he couldn’t. Her wound was so deep and wide that at first it seemed impossible that the bleeding would stop.

  What am I going to do now? I am certainly not going to watch her bleed to death, Varun thought.

  When someone commits suicide, their entire family and friend circle plunges into confusion and grief. Life is instinctively valued by everyone. Even a blade of grass or flower fights for the privilege of life. When someone close to you voluntarily ends their life, your entire value system is thrown for a loop. Varun, Ahana and Malvika felt guilty, thinking they somehow should have seen the signs that led Garima to take this step. Hope—a word most people have to hold on to tightly because if it slips out of their fingertips, it is gone forever. Garima had lost hope, thinking she had committed a sin. They watched the blood—her blood—drip off her pale skin and soak into the bed sheet. They splashed some water and checked if she was still breathing. She was! She was still alive, but barely. She had sought to escape the cruelty in the world when she could no longer cope with it but she left her friends shattered by choosing that route.

  Varun picked her up with Malvika’s help. Ahana ran down to fetch the car from the parking space. They rushed towards the hospital. Ahana drove as fast as she could. All of them prayed to God to give Garima the strength to carry on. Their lives had just begun, so how could hers end? They would fight with the world for her but wouldn’t let her die such a death. She didn’t deserve it. As Malvika looked at Garima’s pale face, she found a piece of paper sticking out of the pocket of her track pants. She took it out and read it.

  I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I was raised in a family where I went to the temple every Sunday and was taught the importance of faith and God in our lives. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t help me. I was hurt . . . badly . . . when I was a child. I was hurt in a way that no person, no little child, should be hurt. I thought about ending my life that time. I have been hospitalized for attempts before. I have been put on medication to help with the depression. I never told any of you about it. It’s not worth telling. It’s something I wanted to erase forever. But couldn’t. Now this MMS! I don’t know whether you will trust me or not but I didn’t do anything. Ahana, will you believe me? Don’t be mad at me please. You are my best friend. How could I? I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel I can’t go through another of those terrible times. I shall not recover this time. All of you helped me a lot to overcome my past. Just when I wanted to give up, you made me believe in life once again. Life is so confusing . . . what we want we don’t get, what we get we are not satisfied with, what we expect never happens and what we hate happens again and again. I have the urge to justify my actions, but I assume I’ll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it’s true that anyone who does this is insane by definition. Maybe you won’t stop wondering why I did this. Since I’ve never spoken to anyone about what happened to me, you may draw your own conclusions but the fact is, I can’t face the world now. My past torture was personal; however with this MMS they will now call me a slut, a whore and whatnot. But my heart knows I am innocent and doesn’t need to give an explanation.

  I am sick of it all. Why should I bother trying any more? I’m not even afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of pain. I just want to leave this world. Please pray for me. I’m tired of trying. You see, I can’t even write this note properly. Ahana, always stay the way you are—bold, fearless and strong. Malvika, always carry a smile—now that you have Varun to take care of you. And Varun, forgive your dad if possible. Yes, Malvika told me. Please don’t misunderstand me, guys. The three of you are my family.

  Malvika couldn’t control her tears as she finished reading the letter. Their world had come to a standstill. She remembered what Garima had said once: If you point the camera away from yourself just once, you just might find someone interesting on the other side.

  We are so lost in our own lives that sometimes we ignore what others might be going through. The hardest thing is knowing that your relationship is falling apart and realizing that you are losing what held you together.

  As soon as they reached Sea Woods Hospital, Garima was taken to the emergency room. Malvika and Ahana waited outside while Varun completed all the necessary formalities. The few hours that it took the doctors to operate on her seemed like the longest hours of their lives. Life is so unpredictable. The previous night Garima was enjoying herself with all of them, clueless that the next day she would be on a hospital bed fighting for her life. Everyone felt miserable and heartbroken.

  After some time, the doctors came out. All three of them stood up immediately, hoping for a miracle. When someone close to you is admitted in hospital, you feel helpless looking at their condition because there is nothing you can do to make things better. The thought of whether the person will come back home or will leave you forever haunts your mind. For the last few hours, they had tried every possible way to convince the Almighty that they needed Garima and it was neither the right time nor the right way to end things. Each step the doctor took towards them made their hearts beat faster. He stood in front of them and, with a smile, said, ‘She is out of danger. Don’t worry. But we need to keep her under observation for twenty-four hours at least. Please inform her parents.’

  They breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the Almighty for making this possible. If they had not opened the door at the right time, things could have been worse. But Garima’s time had not come yet. Her friends had put up a fight with God himself. Varun, Malvika and Ahana hugged each other with happiness and asked the doctor if they could see Garima. He permitted them to see her and everyone walked towards her room. Tears streamed down Varun’s face; he had no words. They had been friends for a short while but they had all developed an unbreakable bond. In any case, they were not going to let Garima shut her eyes. No way were they ready to say goodbye!

  It’s never easy to see your friends and loved ones on a hospital bed, tubes sticking out of their arms. Malvika felt terrible as she was emotionally more attached to Garima. With a heavy heart, she saw her lying on the bed like a lifeless being. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Ahana went close and touched Garima’s forehead. Garima slowly opened her eyes and saw everyone standing in front of her. She was semi-conscious and felt extremely weak, since she had lost a lot of blood. She managed a smile and mumbled a feeble sorry for putting them in such an awkward place. She wanted to explain why she had taken such a drastic step but couldn’t move or say much. Ahana told her not to waste her energy and to rest. Garima glanced at Malvika who was breaking out in sobs and as their eyes met, she too couldn’t control her emotions. Malvika had never seen Garima so silent and helpless, it
made her feel hopeless. It’s said that two girls can’t be true BFFs, but that was certainly not true in Malvika and Garima’s case.

  Malvika rushed out of the room in tears. Varun followed to console her as she stood crying in a corner.

  ‘I know it’s tough but she is absolutely fine now. If we don’t keep our composure, how will we handle her? She needs us,’ Varun said, hugging Malvika.

  ‘I know, but I can’t see her like this. Can’t we take her home? I will tend to her. I will give her love enough to replace all the medicines. I will take care of her,’ Malvika cried.

  ‘Yes. We will take her home soon. Don’t worry. But for that you have to be strong. If the doctor sees you in this condition, he’ll never agree to send Garima home,’ Varun said, trying to calm her down.

  Varun gave her a glass of water and made her sit for a while. It was a difficult phase for everyone but they had to stand like rocks and let it pass. Ahana felt guilty and was upset because Sid was her ex-boyfriend and he was at the root of this turmoil. She kept blaming herself and wanted to beg Garima for forgiveness.

  After Varun and Malvika had left the room, Garima signalled to Ahana to come close. They hadn’t spoken a single word yet and Ahana couldn’t even make eye contact. She went close and looked at Garima who whispered in her ear, ‘I am sorry. I didn’t do it. I wish I had died. If you think I did—’

  Ahana placed a finger on her lips.

  ‘Don’t make me feel even more guilty. It’s not your fault. Even if the Almighty swears that you did something I wouldn’t believe it. Even if you had confessed, I would have taken it as a joke. I trust you more than myself. I know you well enough to know that you didn’t do anything. It was all Sid’s fault. In fact, I feel guilty. Because of me, you had to suffer. It should be me lying in this bed. You don’t deserve this. I am really sorry. Forgive me,’ Ahana cried.