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  ‘Did you drink vodka yesterday?’ Jai asked suspiciously.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘You have started behaving like a girl, constantly gossiping.’ Jai smirked.

  ‘I just wanted to know what you thought.’

  ‘You have nothing better to do than talk about everyone else’s lives. You are like my grandma who keeps an account of the entire colony.’

  But Chris persisted. ‘Of course there’s something going on, there’s no doubt about it,’ Jai finally said. ‘We all know Raghu’s crazy about her and I think Ruhi might feel the same way now. The only thing that worries me is that Ruhi is a Brahmin and Raghu is from a lower caste.’

  ‘How does that matter? If two people love each other, such things become meaningless. Who the hell believes in all this nonsense anyway?’ Chris said.

  ‘It doesn’t matter to me, but I hope it doesn’t become a concern for Ruhi in the future, when the parents get involved. Also, she loves all kinds of animals, while Raghu loves eating all kinds of animals,’ Jai responded.

  After their discussion about almost everything, they decided to call it a day. Jai and Chris got along well and though they never spoke about it, they knew they were special to each other. Having been through a lot together, their relationship was honest and transparent, with both of them supporting each other—whenever the situation demanded it.

  Raghu stretched his sore limbs and let out a groan when his gaze trailed lazily to his phone, which was blaring out its usual alarm. While silencing it he saw there was a message from Ruhi. He felt a shiver of excitement as he tapped it open, Are you awake? Everyone is sleeping and I am getting bored. Any plans?

  Raghu was on cloud nine; it was the first day of the year and hopefully his first date if he played his cards right.

  No plans, let’s go out for lunch? Raghu messaged.

  Cool, I’ll see you in five, came her prompt reply.

  Despite his grogginess Raghu rushed into the washroom and even in the freezing cold, managed to pour a bucket of water over himself.

  No one puts himself through freezing torture as this right after New Year’s Eve unless he has a date lined up, he thought to himself as he dried off.

  Ruhi, who was ready and waiting, got impatient after fifteen minutes of silence and messaged Raghu again, If it’s going to take more time, then it’s OK, just leave it. I don’t mind.

  Raghu read it and cursed himself. He rushed out of the room without even tying his shoelaces, while typing frantically.

  I am waiting for you downstairs; I thought you weren’t ready yet.

  A little relieved at not seeing Ruhi waiting for him, he bent down to tie his shoelaces.

  ‘Ready?’ he heard her say. She stood behind him, putting her phone into her bag.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Last night is just a blur for me. Chris persuaded me to drink and I stupidly tried to keep up with him. He was able to tolerate his alcohol while I acted like a complete fool.’

  Ruhi laughed. ‘And before you passed out you blurted out something about having a crush on me?’

  Raghu felt a rush of embarrassment. I need to get my shit together, he thought, as his stomach knotted up in nervous anticipation.

  ‘Were you being serious?’ Ruhi asked softly.

  There was silence for the next few seconds, as they both waited for the other to speak.

  ‘You know that day it was actually my idea to throw stones at that dog,’ Raghu confessed. ‘Later I felt so guilty that I asked Megha to take the blame. Can you forgive me? I promise I won’t do it again, it wasn’t even intentional. Trust me.’

  ‘Why did you lie then?’

  ‘I didn’t. I just told Megha to go and stop you because . . .’

  ‘Because what?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Come on.’ Ruhi rolled her eyes at him.

  ‘I didn’t want to lose you . . . your friendship, I mean. You know how it is. At that moment I panicked and didn’t know what to do. But otherwise I am not that cruel, especially towards dogs. They are so cute.’

  Ruhi smiled as they walked past the main gate. Both of them were so engrossed that they didn’t notice Jai and Chris sitting at the café and observing them keenly.

  ‘So why are you telling me the truth now?’

  ‘It’s one of my New Year’s resolutions. Not to lie.’ Raghu chuckled.

  ‘I appreciate it. But these resolutions usually don’t last very long. It’s just like buying a new phone; you are very careful with it the first few days, and after a while you just fling it around without a care.’

  ‘No, I am serious about this one . . .’ Raghu tried hard to fight his case. Lost in each other’s company, they didn’t realize how much they had walked until they reached the restaurant they were supposed to eat in. The taxi ride was not required after all.

  ‘You are adorable.’ Ruhi smiled as they entered the restaurant.

  ‘Veg or non-veg?’ Raghu asked, flipping through the menu. Almost immediately he realized his mistake, ‘Oh . . . I am sorry.’

  ‘What if, one day, you have to give up non-vegetarian food? Will you be able to?’

  ‘Um . . .’

  ‘You know that I am a Brahmin, right?’

  ‘Yes, do you know what I am?’

  ‘I do, but I don’t care. As a person, you are adorable.’

  In his head, Raghu broke out into a victory dance, his spirit soared until he realized that Ruhi’s words could contain an unspoken ‘but’.

  ‘What I asked earlier was a serious question.’

  At first his brain refused to comprehend what she was actually saying, but eventually her words sunk in and he wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

  Raghu thought for a while and decided to go all in. His gaze kept flitting between the white plates on the table and the ceiling fan above. Apprehensively, he tugged at a loose thread on the sleeve of his shirt and said, ‘I’ll try to be more adorable by giving up non-vegetarian food.’ He lifted his chin in an attempt to appear more confident.

  ‘Is that also one of your New Year’s resolutions?’ Ruhi was smiling now.

  ‘Certainly.’

  ‘Liar.’

  After paying their bill at the café, Jai and Chris went outside the campus, to a dhaba nearby. Though it was noon, there was still a chill in the air, giving the day a gloomy feel. Jai wanted to meet his friend from ABCP who had helped them the previous day. After hearing about the professors who had been prevented from entering the campus, he realized how lucky they had been and wanted to thank his friend for the smooth execution of the plan. He also wanted to check on Megha, as her persistent migraine had given her some trouble at the party as well.

  Just as they were returning to the campus, Jai saw the same hooligans who had been troubling Megha the previous day.

  ‘Chris, these are the same bastards who were following Megha . . .’

  Leaving the rest of the sentence hanging, Jai started sprinting towards the group. Chris tried to follow him, but his hangover slowed him down. On seeing Jai charging towards them, the group sped away on their bikes. Jai stopped and tried to catch his breath as Chris finally caught up with him.

  ‘Did you see where they came from?’

  ‘No. But they went in that direction,’ Jai said, pointing towards the lane that turned left after leaving the university gates.

  He took a deep breath and tried to analyse where they could have come from. He was still in deep thought when they walked back towards the campus.

  ‘I am not going to spare them,’ he finally declared.

  ‘Chill. We won’t. But let me ask you one thing; if you care about Megha, why don’t you . . . ?’ Chris’s voice trailed off.

  ‘I can’t care about her as a friend?’

  ‘Of course you can.’ Chris laughed.

  No matter what he said, Jai refused to fall for his tricks. Finally Chris gave up and went to his room to sleep.

  Meanwhile, Jai called Megha outs
ide and within minutes, she was at the back gate of the campus.

  ‘I saw them again,’ Jai said as Megha approached him.

  ‘The bikers?’ she asked, tying her hair into a ponytail.

  ‘Yes. I am not going to leave those bastards alone. I hate people who try to show dominance over girls by tormenting them.’ Jai’s anger was reflected in his words.

  Megha, however, didn’t show any such reaction and started fiddling with her phone to show him pictures from the previous night.

  ‘Is your headache better now?’

  Megha nodded and showed him a couple of their pictures she wanted to upload on Facebook. She looked up from her phone and found him standing close. His arm was grazing hers and for a moment she wished she could throw hers around him without any fear of his reaction. ‘I think this one looks good. My nose looks amazing here.’ Jai winked.

  ‘And my pout too.’

  ‘Without a doubt.’

  They both looked at each other in silence for a second, before looking away. ‘Are you attending any classes today?’ Jai asked, changing the topic.

  ‘No, Ruhi will take notes for me.’

  ‘You better start attending from tomorrow before the professors get suspicious and start spying on you. Today, just take your medicines and rest for a while,’ Jai advised as he started walking towards the lecture hall.

  Megha continued to look at him as he walked away from her. If the only way to stay close to him was pretending not to like him, then she’d do that. But the attraction she felt for him could not be ignored; she just couldn’t stop staring at his muscular, well-built body. She knew Jai was a caring soul who loved his friends, but he was also mysterious, and never opened up about his feelings to anyone. Megha was unsure whether her feelings for Jai represented her true love for him or if she was simply lusting after his body.

  She was still sitting at the same spot, uploading a few photos from the party, when Akhilesh approached her.

  ‘Don’t tell me you’re uploading another one of those articles,’ he said sarcastically.

  ‘What’s your problem? Why do you keep troubling me?’

  ‘I thought I made it clear the other day,’ he said, sitting down beside her.

  Megha immediately got up and glared at him, ‘What?’

  ‘I love you. You heard me when I said that, right? You thought I was just trying to prove my point and completely ignored my feelings,’ he said while spreading his arms across the bench and folding up his legs comfortably. He was completely at ease, unfazed by Megha’s fury.

  ‘You have gone mad. I am not going to delete any posts,’ said Megha starting to leave.

  ‘I am not asking you to delete it today; rather I am asking you to write a letter. A love letter from Akhilesh to Megha . . . You are such a good writer.’

  ‘Fuck off.’

  ‘Fine. Then I will write it, hand it over to you and you will be able to read it. Isn’t that such a waste of time, when you could simply write it so well yourself?’

  On seeing Megha’s stony face he continued, ‘You don’t have to post it on Facebook . . . I don’t mind.’

  ‘Get a life,’ said Megha, turning to leave.

  Akhilesh watched her leave with a wicked smile on his face.

  Megha knew that he just wanted to upset her but she didn’t want to get into an argument and spoil her mood so soon after meeting Jai. She wished she could tell the difference between love and infatuation. Jai, on the other hand, wanted to focus on his college activities and wasn’t going to let love come in the way, despite Chris’s numerous attempts to distract him. Raghu alone was not only sure about his feelings but was ready to take the plunge with Ruhi.

  Ruhi too somewhere hid her feelings for him. Strange are the equations of life and love, where it is never simple to draw one straight line between two points.

  Seven

  26 January 2016

  ‘It has been more than two weeks since Mani—a student of MGU—mysteriously disappeared from the campus grounds following a brutal assault by a group of students belonging to AISC,’ read the front-page story of a leading newspaper on 26 January.

  ‘A student vanished from a campus in Delhi after being thrashed by members of an organization linked to the president of the student union. This event is ominous and disturbing,’ said another.

  ‘University campuses and hostels are dens for petty crime and corrupt politicians; their dark corridors are lit by tales of point-blank shootings and intense rivalries between two or more contending groups.’

  And it continued.

  Every newspaper had the story of the missing MGU student on their front page. The student, Mani from Madurai, had gone missing after the SCI protests against New Year celebrations and the prevention of professors from entering the college. A few students, as well as the hostel authorities, had information about his disappearance, but they chose to remain silent.

  For more than two weeks, there was no progress by the Delhi Police, leading Akhilesh and the SCI to contact the media. Each time Krishna, the leader of the AISC, was interrogated, he had only one thing to say—‘We are not involved in the case.’ Akhilesh claimed that if the student had been from north India, the case would have been given much more importance, but since the student was from the south, there was no sense of urgency and the police remained ineffective.

  After the disappearance, different loyalties came to light—the most surprising one being that of the ABCP. They usually opposed anything related to both the SCI and the AISC, but in the case of the missing student, they sprang into action and compelled the police to move quickly.

  ‘On the night of our campaign, Mani slapped a student of AISC who came into his room. The issue was then taken to the warden of the hostel who advised Mani to shift to another room. After shifting, Mani even apologized to the student he slapped, but the next morning, he was nowhere to be found. Doesn’t this indicate a clear and strong involvement of the AISC in Mani’s disappearance?’ Akhilesh addressed a huge mob that had gathered inside the campus.

  On the other side of the campus, AISC students gathered to hear Krishna’s side of the story.

  ‘Our student said that he was slapped and Mani admitted to that as well. When Mani was being taken to the warden, he was attacked by other parties like the ABCP and there were some comments about his religious identity as well.’

  The propaganda continued all around the campus. The place where students had taken admission to gain knowledge and to learn the values of life had now became a war zone of clashing political agendas. All the parties stood against each other and the intellectual structure of the great institution seemed to be crumbling. In the battle between AISC and SCI, ABCP kept silent, although they were hoping for violence and escalating tension between the groups. Jai asked Megha and Ruhi to stay indoors, while he, along with Raghu, Chris and the other students, went to witness the ongoing chaos.

  ‘What’s ABCP’s take on all this?’ Chris asked Jai, while Raghu pretended not to look too interested.

  ‘They are just supporting the search for the student. They didn’t have any problem with him and are definitely not involved in his kidnapping. They have always believed in true nationalism rather than the kind of wars that the AISC fight—those that are based on caste and religion.’ Jai sounded confident since he was good friends with a number of ABCP members. ‘I don’t know how these students can be so opposed to members of another religion. It’s really strange to see this scenario in modern India and especially among those of our generation.’

  After pausing for a moment, he continued, ‘The leaders of these parties are storytellers. They have the power to brainwash your thinking process and your ideologies. Even if you spend just a few days with them, your entire outlook towards life will change. They manipulate people on the grounds of religion and caste, creating more barriers than the ones they are trying to break.’

  ‘Anyway,’ Chris intervened, trying to change the topic, ‘Raghu, did you st
op eating meat? I am planning to have some today.’

  ‘You people are cruel . . . I am trying.’

  Jai piped up to Raghu’s rescue, ‘Chris, you should respect what he is doing. His New Year’s resolution has lasted for almost twenty-five days. That’s a real achievement for someone who used to eat so much meat.’

  ‘So the moral of the story is that love changes a person,’ Chris said in mock seriousness.

  ‘Yeah, tried and tested; with a disclaimer of twenty-five days,’ Jai said as they walked out of the campus to get something to eat.

  Raghu couldn’t stop smiling. How easily their charged discussion just a few minutes back on political ideologies had evaporated! Friends can lighten any situation no matter what the circumstances. And so, despite the chaos in the campus, the three friends remained insulated in their friendship.

  I hate this conflicted state of mind, my eyes desperately searching for some clarity among these jumbled words and the throbbing ache in my head. I seem to be hopelessly lost; not only in love, but in all aspects of my life.

  Megha typed out her status and stared blankly at the screen of her mobile phone. A message from Ruhi popped up; she was coming to meet her. Megha continued writing her post:

  What scares me is that I cannot differentiate between true feelings and the ghost of my emotions. When I look into the mirror, I see a stranger. Who am I, I ask. There are no answers but only endless questions. I get a strange sense of satisfaction watching the words disappear letter by letter as I hold down the backspace key. Sometimes it feels like that is the perfect example of real life. Someone out there is holding down my backspace key and the longer he does this, the more I disappear. I try to write my story again but there he is, erasing, deleting. We are all just pieces in life’s game of chess. Methodically, it seems to place us where it needs us, only to play a risky game, where we are sacrificed for the benefit of someone else. Caught between the virtual and the real world, I try to find my true reflection, where the weight of my emotions lie. Isn’t that strange? We think we are the ones living this life but it is actually life that pulls all the strings.